You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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