3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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