are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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