This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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