Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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