My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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