So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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