dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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