why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
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I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
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I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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