The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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