I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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