Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
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DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
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Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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