How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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