If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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