Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
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