i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
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I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
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I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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