when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize