No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
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the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
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I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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