I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize