i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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