Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
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Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
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Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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