Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
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Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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