That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize