You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
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This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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