I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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