This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
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Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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