Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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