do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
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