But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Buhtt sex?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize