You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
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i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize