dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just forgot I was standing up.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize