I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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