ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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