the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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