That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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