I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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