Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
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according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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