He told me they were just razor bumps!
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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