dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
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well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
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PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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