I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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