We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
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hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
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I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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