for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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