Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize