While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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