I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize