can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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