My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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