I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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