I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate ashes out of my bong
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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