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omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
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